Unicorns... It's okay cos they're mythical

One night while I was still on course I had a poker night at my house with a few of the boys...

Let me take the opportunity here to point out that the guys you go through your course with are like the guys you play nationals with, they pretty much become your brothers. You do everything together every day, 9+ hours a day. You know them inside out, strengths/weaknesses, likes and dislikes. So when one of your mates does something out of the ordinary it floors you.

Now we had one guy, a young fella just turned 19, Jarrod "Chrisso" Christensen on our course. Smart kid. Already a published novelist. Quiet. Engaged to his first ever girlfriend. A nice chinese girl, actually from China not just Haymarket lol. Didn't drink much.

So on this poker night Chrisso came around and was issued a mandate to get drunk. He bought himself a 6 pack of jim beam cans and set about having a "serious drink".

By 9pm (after a 6pm kickoff) he was busy falling asleep while he was dealing the cards. After many apologies for falling asleep he turned to me and asked "Nate, do you think if you fucked a unicorn you would get it's powers?"

Everyone stopped.

I blinked slowly a few times and asked "Are you telling me you want to fuck a horse?"
"No, a unicorn. With a horn. It's different" Was his explanatory response.
"So if I stuck a traffic cone on a horse's head, you'd fuck it?" I asked more pointedly.
"No, look, if you kill a unicorn and drink it's blood you become immortal. Well it stands to reason that if you were nice to it and had sex with it you'd have to get some really good benefits from it!" was the further explaination that he offered.

At this point there was pandemonium in my dining room. There were eight reasonably smart guys in the room at varying points of inebriation and the straightest guy any of us had ever met had just tried to justify fucking a fairytale creature.

There were many calls of beastiality and the like because as far as any of us were concerned Chrisso was trying to tell us he wanted to fuck a horse. It took a few minutes to settle down and for us to regain our composure. When the dust settled I asked Chrisso, just to clarify "So you want to fuck a horse, but only if it has a horn?".

Chrisso's response, which was said with such calmness and in a tone like he was explaining it to a little kid "No, not a horse. A unicorn, but it's okay because they're mythical!"

Funniest single event I have ever been a part of in my whole life.

While we're on the topic of mythical creatures and sexual acts being okay because of that fact I'll leave you with the following question which was debated recently at the Victorian Interservice Basketball Tournament that I attended.

"Would you rather fuck a traditional mermaid with a fish bottom half, or an inverted mermaid with a snapper top half but the bottom half of Marisa Miller?"